Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize