Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
