Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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