I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
