So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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