Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
