Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
