Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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