She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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