well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
