So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
