Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
