Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
