I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
