I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
