there was a trapeze. enough said
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize