I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
