??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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