i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
