Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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