i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
