so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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