I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
