Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
