You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
