I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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