Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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