ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
