It's like God shit irony all over that family
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I could fuck to npr.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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