She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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