My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
