you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
