We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
