Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
