Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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