two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize