I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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