gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
