Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
