Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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