Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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