So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
