I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
