So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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