Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
this is an emotional support booty call
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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