i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
