This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
