I cannot find my penis.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who died my cat blue again?
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