i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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