Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
