I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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