Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
