I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Randomize
