How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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