we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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